Breakfast with Fred

SweetJade · Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 7:34 am Post subject:

The Power of Peers:

Peers come in groups. Seldom are they chosen individually. We move into a certain neighborhood; we go to work at a company and the associates come with the job; we attend a church, social club, or political affiliation ---- we acquire peers, not by selection, but by association.

Few of us escape peer pressure. Adults talk about its effect on young people, but I find it to be age resistant. It never lets up- it simply takes a different form and uses different rationalizations.

Dictatorial regimes create an atmosphere of being “in” and being “out” resulting in torturous environments. Social ostracization makes inhumane treatment acceptable as people are marginalized and ultimately dehumanized.

Sadly, in our history we have examples of veterans who return from unpopular wars to be treated as outsiders. Often, widows and divorcee s experience lostness with no way of finding the “in” circle.

The evidence of peer pressure to be “in” dominates our culture. I hear younger ones talking about the fashion police who blow the whistle on unacceptable attire. I am famous for assembling outfits that are comfortable, but somewhat questionable in sartorial style. One morning I was eating at a restaurant. The waitress took one look and smirked, “Well, Mr. Smith, I see you dressed yourself this morning.”

In our effort to swim with our peers we lose our personhood and focus on function.

A vice president of a major corporation quickly found after retirement that leaving his title, office, organizational power, and associates separated him from his peers.. For awhile he thought of himself as a non-person. He realized his life revolved around his function; his individual identity disappeared under the influence of corporate and social peer pressure. Retirement shocked him into reality. Simultaneously, their last child left home and his wife’s empty nest trauma resulted in her “adopting him.” Each of them lost who they were in their absorption with what they did.

Chaim Potok observed, “No great man of letters is absorbed by the stream in which he swims.” Our titles, our perks, our lifestyle are not us --- they are the description of what we do, not who we are.

To successful navigate the floods of peer pressure we listen to the words of scripture: “Be not conformed but be transformed.” A loose Smith paraphrase is “Don’t be molded from the outside, but have an inside set of values that forms you from the inside out.”

This week think about:
1) How is peer pressure affecting my decisions?
2) What am I contributing to those around me?
3) When do I lose sight of my identity and focus on function?

Words of Wisdom: We acquire peers, not by selection, but by association.

Wisdom from the Word: “Do not be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may test and approve what is the will of God – what is good and well-pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12: 1 (NET Bible)

Cite from: The Weekly Thought from Breakfast With Fred. 05-27-08
Copyright ©2008 BWF Project, Inc.
_________________
SweetJade
...Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edified.
If anyone supposes that he knows anything, he has not yet known as he ought to know;
but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him. 1 Cor.8:1b-3 ~NASV~

Petch · Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 8:48 am Post subject:

One reason people got peers pressure is becuase they are doing
something against their will, moral or their living standard.

Some peers is not a matter of worldly sin, it is just a way of living
a diffirent life style.

I heard a story of many parents who try to sent their son/daughter to get
a higher education in other country. Some of them even took a loan just
to make sure they have enough to support their son/daughter.

But then their son/daughter did not realize how hard their parents had to
work to come up with the money to support them. At the end, they got
spoil and suck up in the peers of being around many rich friends.
They spent money like they are rich as well. The parents at home not even
know that part of the loan money being use for car, travel, party, golf, fun and food.
It is such a tragedy of what today peers pressure has influrence many.

"We acquire peers, not by selection, but by association"...I agree, and
I also think that we CHOOSE to be associate with peers as well.

I really like this statement, “Don’t be molded from the outside, but have
an inside set of values that forms you from the inside out.”

We want to be accepted by other. That's why peer pressure has
influrance our decisions in a matter of little or large.

For me, I have a harded head, some time I would never be afraid to be
different, do things different or even think different. But then at the same
time, I don't want other to think of me as an alien as well.
I understand, when we are in a group of christians,
we have to be nice and gentle...forgive, forget, share, and be holy.
I only got the "forget" part, because I always forgetful. ha ha ha.
The rest of them I am still working on it. Or should I say I am under construction.
God have not yet finished me. Smile

SweetJade · Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 9:37 am Post subject:

It is a great guideline to live-out our faith from this scripture...

“Do not be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may test and approve what is the will of God – what is good and well-pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12: 1 (NET Bible)

transforming from inside out... the scripture has its way to explain that people couldn't transform their characters from outward but inward... the next question is... "WHO" is your inward? --Yourself or the Holy Spirit.

Like you said, Petch; many people learn to put their lives scale with the Worldly Standard not God's. that cause many problems in their lives. Peer Pressure is a tool satan uses to block us from God's will and blessings. to be able to transform our faithful lives, we need to know couple things as follows:

1) Know your identity: you have to realize who you really are on earth. You are God's sons & daughters whom He establishes His Holy Spirit in your heart who guides you and leads you in Father's path.

2) Know your priority: Your heaven identity demonstrates your purpose on earth--being God's servant. How can you live your faithful lives out, since you are still sinking in the world's pit of lust, greedy, fool, liar, self-center, selfish, and so on? Having a clear mind and know what your priority on earth is... is a key to be transformed from inside out!

However, it doesn't mean you have to leave everything in this world, do nothing, and wait for God to pick you up to heaven... Jesus said, He wouldn't come to this world to take us out of the world, but will help us to live in this world with God's holy purpose, to help us to accomplish His goals on earth.(Matt. 28:27 on or Acts 2:8 ). We need to learn to take full responsibility on what we have to take care of, family, business, work, study, along with serving the Lord in our daily life. We have to work out our faith to accomplish God's purpose for us. hold on tight your holy identity, keep your focus on your holy priority... and the rest will follow step by step.

Blessings!
_________________
SweetJade
...Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edified.
If anyone supposes that he knows anything, he has not yet known as he ought to know;
but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him. 1 Cor.8:1b-3 ~NASV~

Petch · Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 10:04 am Post subject:

Great P'Jade. Good lesson learned today.

kohkerdsri · Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 10:10 am Post subject:

good lesson, thanks for sharing PJade.

SweetJade · Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 2:06 pm Post subject:

In this week, Fred's wife has a great advice for wives to practice... personally, I have already been doing most of the list she gave below... and found that it were love stratgy to enhance our marriage to grow in God's grace... try it! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
How to encourage a husband:

1) Appreciate him - Our granddaughter, Meredith, fills out a daily sheet of thanks and puts her husband, Brian, at the top. Never give the impression, "I could have done better."

2) Send him off each day with a pocketful of "feel goods-" Get up and fix him breakfast, compliment him on how he looks, tell him you will be glad when he comes home.

3) Believe in him - Support his motives. Let him know you believe he is sincere in what he is doing. Never tear him down or cause him to doubt himself.

4) Know what is important in his life - Don't assume that the family is number one always, especially if he is following a calling. let him know you and the family want to participate in his calling, and you don't want to compete with it.

5) Be loyal to him - We have couple friends who always "air their dirty laundry" when we are together. When the wife exposes the husband's weaknesses, it is usually because she is insecure.

6) Laugh when he tells a story - I try never to groan and say, "You aren't going to tell that one again, are you?" "Red" Motley once complimented me on how I listen to Fred. People watch the wife when the husband is speaking.

7) Let him brag to you - It is so easy for a wife to think it's her job to keep her husband humble, but everyone else in the world does enough of that.

8 ) Make him feel like a man - Someone once said, "Treat him like a king and he will treat you like a queen."

9) Help him concentrate - I have found that Fred has to focus on his studying and his writing. Be careful about interrupting your husband. Time them so they don't interfere with his thinking.

10) Avoid jealousy - The "green-eyed monster" is a sure sign of insecurity and selfishness. The love in 1Corinthians 13 certainly excludes jealousy.

I am thankful for our three children and their careers. For me, there is no higher calling for a woman than being a wife and a mother. I have always been proud to be Mrs. Fred Smith. I am fulfilling my purpose in life. [SweetJade: wish I could say like this when my last day is coming]

This week think about:
1) How would I define encouragement whether for a husband or for a wife?
2) What 3 things make me thankful for my father?
3) What would I say to Mary Alice if we were face to face?

Words of Wisdom: For me, there is no higher calling for a woman than being a wife and a mother. I have always been proud ot be Mrs. Fred Smith.

Wisdom from the Word: ]"...each one of you must also love his own wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5: 33 (NET)

Cite from: The Weekly Thought from Breakfast With Fred. 06-02-08
Copyright ©2008 BWF Project, Inc.
_________________
SweetJade
...Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edified.
If anyone supposes that he knows anything, he has not yet known as he ought to know;
but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him. 1 Cor.8:1b-3 ~NASV~

Petch · Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 7:23 am Post subject:

Great P'Jade for sharing.

As a husband, I don't expect my wife to have all 10,
but be able to do them, surely a blessing to the whole family.

Behind this 10 suggestions of enhancing family life,
it comes down to one purpose which is "LOVE."

The power of LOVE enable us to serve.

We want to do it because we love our loveone,
but not so much about changing them or
exspect to be treat the same in return.

It is just so sweet to have a wife that always encorage husband. Very Happy

SweetJade · Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 8:11 am Post subject:

Sorry that I've been disappeared for a week... it was my mid-term for summer... Smile

now I'm back to present you Fred's wisdom again... Smile

_________________
SweetJade
...Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edified.
If anyone supposes that he knows anything, he has not yet known as he ought to know;
but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him. 1 Cor.8:1b-3 ~NASV~

SweetJade · Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 8:32 am Post subject: 10 Things to Think About

Fred would often “scattershot” while dictating or sitting at his vintage Selectric typewriter. In 1989 he listed ten thought starters and gave thumbnail sketches. These are good brain food.

Ten Things to Think About:

1. Hurt opens the heart – Often the best and maybe the only time a person will open up to help is when the hurt is too great to bear alone.

2. Gratitude cures depression – There is no stronger medicine for depression than genuine gratitude. If we find ourselves saying, “Yes, but,” we are not fully grateful. The truly grateful say, “Yes! Yes!” The Bible says, “In all things be grateful.” When it says, all – it means all.

3. Sit loose to things – Oswald Chambers is not against having things, nor enjoying them. But he is against getting so stuck to them that if they go, they take you with them. So long as you own them and not vice versa, everything is in right perspective. Develop the “sit loose to things” reflex.

4. Beware the spirit of fear – There is a great difference in being perpetually afraid, and having specific fears. It is alright to have particular fears, but not the spirit of fear. Our general disposition is not to be one of constant fear. “I have not given you the spirit of fear, but of love and of a sound mind.” Is your first reaction to every situation fear? It doesn’t have to be. You have a Promise to shield you.

5. The power of bonding – Experts tell us the greatest benefit of gang membership for kids is bonding – the sense of family and someone to stand with them in trouble. The church should be our bonding fellowship. We should share sufferings and provide acceptance for good. We should all be bonded as fellow members of the body of Christ --- that is the true bond.

6. The power of light – We dread the dark, but it has no power. It can’t put out the smallest candle, or even a flicker of light. There is no darkness so deep that a tiny light cannot penetrate it. Christ is the eternal lamplighter and He will re-light your lamp, no matter how small or how unused it has become. Darkness never owns the light; light always overcomes the dark.

7. Enjoy the challenge of change – Every situation is either a challenge or a threat. To the confident it is a challenge; to the fearful it is a threat. The situation is the same, but the reaction is different. Would you like to change from threat to challenge? View every new potentially threatening experience as an experiment. Be objective like a reporter and become interested in watching yourself go through the experience. Gain understanding as you step outside yourself.

8. New Age is old stuff – It is like the late night advertisement for wallets made out of “genuine synthetic leather.” Its promises have no guarantor. The Bible promises are the promissory notes given and guaranteed by God. New Age gives claims to a promised land they do not own…they are spiritual squatters.

9. The beauty of balance – All things in moderation – fanatical about nothing – everything getting its due – and everything in its season. A time for everything, even winning and losing.

10. We are promised ultimate victory – There is no sudden success. Ours is ultimate joy even while going through hardship and struggle. We look forward in hope , but we do not hope in hope. Our hope is in the promises of God and in the life of Christ.

Things to consider this week:

1) Which of the ten stretched me most?
2) How can I apply one or more of them this week to help others?
3) When do I do my best thinking?

Words of Wisdom: Our hope is in the promises of God and in the life of Christ.

Wisdom from the Word: “As if with choice meat you satisfy my soul. My mouth joyfully praises you. Whenever I remember you on my bed, and think about you during the nighttime hours.” (Psalms 63:5,6 NET)

Cite from: The Weekly Thought from Breakfast With Fred. 07-1-08 Copyright ©2008 BWF Project, Inc. www.breakfastwithfred.com
_________________
SweetJade
...Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edified.
If anyone supposes that he knows anything, he has not yet known as he ought to know;
but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him. 1 Cor.8:1b-3 ~NASV~

Petch · Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 8:57 am Post subject:

SweetJade · Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:56 pm Post subject:

it was typo error jah... supposed to be meet....
_________________
SweetJade
...Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edified.
If anyone supposes that he knows anything, he has not yet known as he ought to know;
but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him. 1 Cor.8:1b-3 ~NASV~

SweetJade · Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 1:10 pm Post subject:

I do like this week wisdom from Fred... good lesson for leaders... SweetJade

Fred: My friends and associates who experience fulfillment in their work have several common denominators.

1. They have realistic expectations. They do not waste time fantasizing about some perfect situation, oozing with excitement, pleasure, high visibility, a six-figure salary, and no problems. They expect some pain, some drudgery, and even disappointments. They develop routines for the doldrums, preventing procrastination and bottlenecks.

2. They work in their strength. They have identified their talents and their gifts. They work easily because they focus on their giftedness. What we do best we do easiest. Likewise, they avoid their weaknesses. Productive people seldom waste time working in the areas of their weakness – it frustrates them.

3. They are challenged by their work. They look for something new to do, to learn, to experience. They don’t drive down dead-end streets. Their own creative interests open up opportunities that less engaged people miss. They see the potential, not the limitations.

4. They know they are making a difference. They do their work well, faithful to their employers and/or employees, are loyal, cooperative, and accommodating to change.

5. They are satisfied with their share of the money. Through the years in manufacturing plant operations, I have found it is more the distribution of the money than the amount that causes dissension. Money is important, but it is not the most important thing. Adequate money helps one concentrate on the work.

Fulfillment is personal. I am not trying to lay down a formula, but making observations.
Fulfillment is doing what you can do well…
doing something you feel is worthwhile…
something with a continuing challenge and
adequate financial remuneration,
working on a team you respect,
working in an environment where you are respected and encouraged,
working with a product or service with integrity,
and having peers who help you mutually create and enjoy a productive work environment.

This week carefully consider:
1) How do I define fulfillment in my work?
2) Who in my life truly represents fulfillment?
3) What did I do today to make a difference?

Words of Wisdom: “ Fulfillment is personal. Fulfillment is doing what you can do well.”

Wisdom from the Word: “There is nothing better for a man than to eat and drink and tell himself that his labor is good.” Ecclesiastes 2:24 (New American Standard Bible).

Cite from: The Weekly Thought from Breakfast With Fred. 08-4-08 Copyright ©2008 BWF Project, Inc. www.breakfastwithfred.com
_________________
SweetJade
...Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edified.
If anyone supposes that he knows anything, he has not yet known as he ought to know;
but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him. 1 Cor.8:1b-3 ~NASV~

Petch · Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 1:47 pm Post subject:

When my wife is happy...I have achived my fullfilment. Smile

“There is nothing better for a man than to eat and drink and tell himself that his labor is good.” Ecclesiastes 2:24